"I don't know about this," Rodney whined as John walked into the small room they had designated as the team's private office.
John rolled his eyes, tossed his jacket onto the desk in the corner, and then put his hands on his hips. "You already agreed to it. What's the problem now?"
"Problem? We don't know anything about him other than his propensity for holding people hostage and eating with his hands. Where I come from, those aren't positive qualities. I understand you do things differently in America."
John crossed his arms. "Why do you always have to bring that into it? Like you haven't spent half your life in the US."
"Not half," Rodney protested. "Can't forget my time exiled to frozen wastelands, after all."
"Gentlemen," Teyla broke in before John could argue the point. "Ronon will be here soon."
John sighed. Rodney really did look uncomfortable, his mouth set like whenever he felt unfairly hushed.
"I understand your concerns, Rodney," Teyla continued, her voice soothing and conciliatory. "But I believe that Ronon has shown us that we can trust him. I would not want him on the team otherwise."
Rodney relaxed a tiny bit.
"Look, Rodney, it's up to you. If you're not comfortable with Ronon, just say so." He had already invited Dex onto the team, but John wasn't about to push Rodney into something he truly didn't want. He was betting Rodney was just making noise, though.
Rodney lifted his chin and squared his shoulders. "I'm not comfortable with Ronon."
John held his eyes and nodded. "Okay then."
Rodney slumped, not looking happy. "Don't get me wrong, because I'm sure he's a great guy, and he'd be fabulous for the team, and yes, I do want him here, but--" Rodney trailed off, looking so helpless that John opened his mouth to call the whole thing off.
"But what, Rodney?" Teyla prompted softly.
"He's so damn big!"
They all stared at each other for a few silent seconds. John broke first, though he managed to cover his smile by stroking his mouth thoughtfully. Teyla was the one who snickered.
Rodney rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. You know what I mean, though yes, that is a concern. He could break me in half without even realizing!"
Teyla stepped forward, stroking the back of Rodney's neck and then on down his shoulder. "Do you truly believe he will harm you?"
Rodney sighed, and John knew everything would be okay. "No, not really," he said a bit sulkily.
"Hey, if it makes you feel better, I promise to stay between you two at all times," John said, winking when Rodney looked over at him. Rodney tried to frown, but the corners of his mouth twitched.
"I shall do so as well," Teyla said, and drew Rodney down into a kiss.
So, of course that was when Ronon had to walk in the door. He stared at the kissing pair for a moment, then looked over at John with his eyebrows as pointed as his knives.
"Well, I guess we can skip phase one of this conversation," John muttered.
"Did I come at the wrong time, Sheppard?" Ronon asked, his eyes straying back to Rodney and Teyla, who had stopped kissing and were watching Ronon in turn.
John cleared his throat, suddenly more uncomfortable than he'd been in a very long time. His decision to bring Ronon in had seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but now that they were down to the reality of the situation, he was feeling a lot of empathy with Rodney.
"I suppose that's the big-money question," he said with a friendly smile. "This is what we refer to as team-bonding. Sort of a pre-mission ritual."
Ronon nodded, then looked at each of them in turn. Rodney started to look away from him, but then he clenched his jaw and met Ronon's eyes firmly. John had to smile a little; that was his Rodney, all right.
"And this ritual involves kissing?" Ronon asked.
John dropped his arms to his sides, glancing over to see if Teyla was alert. She was, of course. John was pretty sure he'd read Ronon right, but if he hadn't, things could get nasty fast.
"Among other things," John hinted, watching Ronon carefully for his reaction.
"Other things?" Ronon asked, sounding intrigued. John thought Ronon got it, considering the way his eyes flicked downwards and then back up to John's face, checking him out.
"Oh, for--" Rodney broke in, edging around Teyla. "What he's trying to say is, do you want to have sex with us? As in an orgy, group fucking, circle jerk, an offering to the high holy gods of war--whatever you want to call it."
Ronon stared at Rodney, gave Teyla a good eyeing, then looked back at John. Then he broke into a huge grin. "You have to ask?"
John laughed from the surge of relief. They all stood smiling at each other until it started to get awkward. Teyla finally stepped up to Ronon.
"Welcome to the team," she said, reaching up toward his neck. It was a very long reach. Instead of bending to kiss her, like John always did, Ronon grabbed onto Teyla's ass and hauled her up his body. Teyla made an adorable squeak of surprise before she settled against Ronon's chest, wrapping her legs around his waist as they began kissing.
"Very nice," Rodney murmured appreciatively.
"Yes, and thank you for the suave seduction there, Pepe," John muttered.
Rodney snorted. "Because you were doing so well. You'd still be hinting around right now if it weren't for me."
John turned to face Rodney, loosening his gear belt as he did so. "Did you stop and think for a second that maybe I had a plan? That maybe I was trying to ease into it?"
Rodney pulled off his shirt, so John couldn't see him roll his eyes, but he felt it. "Oh, please. Like Ronon wasn't a sure thing already," he whispered. "The way he watches you and Teyla? You know I was the deal-breaker, so I was just as happy to get it out in the open right away."
"Rodney," John said softly, reaching for him, but Rodney avoided John's arms by tugging John's t-shirt upwards.
"You're not a deal-breaker, McKay," Ronon rumbled just as John got himself untangled. They both looked over at Ronon. Teyla slid back down to the ground, her lips puffy and her hair mussed. "I am looking forward to sex with you."
John snorted as Rodney flushed bright red. Ronon had good ears, apparently--as well as good taste in men.
"That's, that's very nice," Rodney stumbled. "I am, too, with you, I mean. Right."
John pulled him in for a quick kiss that turned slow as Rodney relaxed against him. Rodney always took just a little bit longer than the rest of them to get used to the more unorthodox situations they found themselves in, but once he did, he excelled. Boy, did he ever excel. John groaned into Rodney's mouth as Rodney grabbed onto his ass and pulled him closer. Then hands started running up and down his chest, plucking at his nipples.
Large hands.
He broke away from Rodney's mouth and glanced down at himself. Sure enough, those were Ronon's hands wedged between them. Another smaller set brushed against his belly as they worked their way into Rodney's pants. He looked up and met Teyla's knowing smile.
"We thought you had become distracted," she said.
"That's kind of the point," he whined, but Ronon tugged on his shoulder just as Teyla drew Rodney around into a heated embrace. John turned around–and found himself having to look up. Ronon's height was a lot more obvious when they were this close.
"Sheppard," Ronon said, and John could actually feel his voice rumble across the bare inch between their chests.
He tried to say you can call me John, here, but most of the words got lost in Ronon's mouth. John grabbed onto Ronon's arms--his very large arms--to brace himself as Ronon took control. The kiss was all lips and tongue and brush of surprisingly soft beard, and once John let go of the sense of being overwhelmed, it was very, very hot.
"Okay, yes, that works," he heard Rodney say behind him somewhere, and Teyla agreed with a contented hum. Ronon finally pulled back, leaving John breathing heavily as he blinked up at Ronon. Ronon grinned down at him.
"Well, okay then," John said. "I think we're about ready for phase three."
Rodney snorted. John turned in Ronon's arms to find Rodney grinning goofily with Teyla plastered to his back, chin over his shoulder as her hands roamed. He grinned at Rodney, and Rodney grinned back. Then Teyla reached down to cup Rodney's balls, and Rodney's mouth dropped open and his eyes closed as he tipped his head back against hers.
"Definitely phase three," John decided, and herded them all towards the inflatable mattress that took up half the room. Luckily, Teyla and Rodney--or just Teyla, in all likelihood--had pulled it out of the storage closet and made it up with the smuggled-in sheets before John had arrived. It was all ready to go, just waiting for them to lose a few more clothes.
John didn't waste much time with that part, stripping out of his shoes and pants and flopping down onto the bed with a naked Rodney. Rodney made an annoyed little noise as the mattress bounced, but then he spooned up behind John without any further comment. John idly ran his hand over Rodney's arm as they settled in to watch the show.
And oh, what a show.
Teyla lifted Ronon's tank top until Ronon took over, pulling it over his head to reveal a well-muscled chest. Like there had been any doubt. Ronon reached for Teyla, but she slapped his hands away and reached for his belt. Ronon smiled indulgently, holding his arms out to the sides so she could finish undressing him.
Whoa. Ronon was very...proportional.
Ronon looked like he was meant to be naked, not a single imperfection except for the Wraith scar on his chest. Relatively hairless skin--compared to John and Rodney, anyway--smooth, lickable chocolate-buttercream, all over miles of muscles. Rodney sighed into John's ear and pressed closer, rubbing his hard cock into John's thigh. John pressed back, and pulled Rodney's hand to his lips for a quick kiss before he settled it on his left nipple. Rodney obliged by pinching, and John shoved his ass back into Rodney's lap, groaning quietly.
Ronon looked over at them, his eyes predatory. But then Teyla stepped forward and began tonguing her way down Ronon's chest, and Ronon's eyes snapped back to her just as she took him in her mouth.
All three of them groaned.
She slid down and up once, then again, and then pulled off slowly, lingering on the head. Ronon made an indignant sort of pleading growl. John would have laughed if he hadn't sympathized so much--Teyla's mouth was heaven. She paid no attention to Ronon's plea, simply pushed him toward the mattress. He gave Teyla one last pleading look, which changed as he turned toward John and Rodney. John leaned back, half-protecting Rodney, half-retreating himself, as Ronon got down on all fours and managed, somehow, to stalk gracefully across an air mattress.
"Sheppard," he said, then leaned forward for a deep kiss. He left John breathing heavily when he broke away.
"McKay," Ronon said, and then leaned over John towards Rodney. John got a hand up against Ronon's chest and tried to push, but that wasn't happening. He was ready to bark out an order when he realized that Rodney was pretty much humping his leg, leaning hard against John's shoulder as he met Ronon's mouth.
So much for being afraid of Ronon. John shrugged mentally, then decided to use his hand for better things, since it was already practically on top of Ronon's nipple, after all. He squeezed and Ronon grunted. Yeah, very nice.
"Shall I leave you three be?"
Oops.
They flailed around for a bit until they were more or less untangled, though John was still stuck in the middle. The others went still, and once John shoved Ronon's hair out of the way, he figured out why.
Teyla stood, hand on one canted hip, hair tossed over one shoulder. Naked. Completely naked.
God, she was beautiful. Strong and limber and powerful, with curves all over the place. She knelt on the edge of the bed, near Ronon's feet, and then crept forward, even more gracefully than Ronon had. Her breasts swayed gently as she pushed her way between Ronon and Rodney to hover on her hands and knees above John.
"Well, hello there," he said, smiling up at her.
"Hello, Colonel," she replied with a smile, then bent enough to nip at his bottom lip. Someone was in a playful mood. "Who shall break in our new recruit first?"
John raised an eyebrow, then they both looked over at Ronon. Of course, John wasn't one for letting good opportunity go to waste, playing a good game of Russian hands and Roman fingers with Teyla as he contemplated the question. His hands bumped against Rodney's as they fondled her breasts. Ronon didn't join in, instead staring back at them with hungry eyes. John was starting to get the feeling Ronon got off on being told what to do.
"I think we better let you take point on this one, Teyla," he decided at last. Yeah, he'd like to get his hands, among other things, on Ronon, but he also wanted to make sure Rodney really was alright with everything. Plus, he could already picture Teyla riding Ronon hard, and he liked the image a lot.
Teyla lowered herself until the soft touch of her skin stretched across his body, though she held her weight off of him. He could feel her hot and wet just over the tip of his cock, and John fought the impulse to thrust up into her. They were still playing, still warming up. She kissed him, then pulled away languidly. She leaned to his right to kiss Rodney. John tore his eyes away from them long enough to glance at Ronon–and swallowed hard. Head propped on one hand, Ronon was still watching them avidly as he stroked his cock with slow, sensuous strokes.
"Teyla," John said in a low voice.
She broke away with Rodney and looked over her shoulder at Ronon, a sly smile on her face. "I am not sure that he is man enough, John."
Apparently that was enough to finally get to Ronon, because he wrapped a strong arm around Teyla's middle and pulled. John gasped as her thigh dragged across his cock, but then she was gone in a laughing tumble with Ronon. The mattress surged with their movements, and Rodney took advantage of the bounce to drape himself half over John.
"I'm starting to think I'm the mattress here," he said, and Rodney rolled his eyes.
"Oh, I'm sorry, is this impugning your masculinity now? Would you rather I found someone else to–"
John pulled him down and kissed him, thrusting up a little as Rodney slowly ground his cock into John's belly, still unhurried but damn good. He took a page out of Ronon's book and grabbed onto Rodney's ass with both hands, settling him into a better position between John's legs. John groaned as Rodney thrust a little harder. John worked a hand between them and tugged on Rodney's nipple, and Rodney broke the kiss with a whimper. They kissed again softly, but then the sound of Teyla's moans penetrated. They looked over at the same time. She was on her back, arms hooked around her own knees as Ronon ate her out.
"Oh god," Rodney said.
John leaned up a bit to get a better look. Teyla's eyes were closed, her head thrown back as she panted and groaned. Ronon was mostly off the mattress, only a mass of dreads visible between Teyla's legs as he buried his face in her. The long line of his back sloped into powerful glutes. Still not as good as Rodney's ass, though.
"You know what I want to see?" he whispered into Rodney's ear.
Rodney turned so that he could breathe his words into John's ear, his hot breath making John shiver. "Them fucking?"
"Well, that too," John conceded. "But I really, really want to see you fuck Ronon."
Rodney's eyes went wide. John saw Ronon raise his head. He smirked at John before Teyla pulled him back to her. John looked back at Rodney, who was still looking a bit shell-shocked. He'd obviously caught Ronon's agreement.
"What do you think, Rodney?" he murmured, brushing his lips over the stubble of Rodney's cheek.
Rodney huffed. "The sacrifices I make for you," he said. He ruined the pissy attitude by grinning before he started moving down John's chest, pushing the tags out of the way with wet kisses.
John was going to make a witty comeback, but Teyla started crying out loud enough to drown out anything he might have said. Thank goodness the room was soundproof. Thank goodness for physicists who were smart enough to figure that fact out.
John curled up off the mattress as said physicist went straight for his cock with no preliminaries.
"Oh fuck," was all he managed as Rodney slid down and then pulled back up with a hell of a lot of suction. He did something really fucking fantastic with his tongue, then set a fast rhythm that John was really getting into when Rodney pulled off. "Ungh?" he asked, feeling rather betrayed as he looked down at Rodney, trying to figure out what went wrong with his blowjob.
Rodney grinned back, looking positively evil. John tried to remember what he'd done to deserve that, but his brain wasn't working very well at the moment.
"Turn over," Rodney said, awkwardly kneeling up so that John would have room to move.
He thought about arguing, or more accurately, begging, but he did have enough brain cells left to figure out what Rodney was planning. He pulled his right leg up far enough to clear Rodney and turned over. Ronon and Teyla were going at it now, both lying on their sides with her leg drawn back over his. John turned his head so he could watch them. Teyla smiled at him, and Ronon reached over her, tracing his hand down John's back.
John wriggled as Rodney brushed his balls gently, trying to get a firmer touch. Rodney kissed his tailbone, then began tonguing his way downwards. John spread his legs until he pushed up against Teyla's leg. Rodney was taking his time, little tickling flicks of his tongue that were driving John crazy. He whimpered and squirmed, and finally Rodney had mercy, pushing in hard with his wonderful, wet, wiggling tongue. John pressed his face into his pillow, muffling a string of embarrassing noises.
Vaguely, he registered Teyla make her own noises as she obviously came again, but John was too busy trying to breathe and fall apart at the same time. If felt so fucking good--too good. His body was uncoordinated mush as Rodney licked and stroked, his nerves so spazzed out they couldn't figure out how to make him come. John turned his face to the side again, gasping for breath.
"Rodney, please," he begged.
Rodney pulled away, just a little, and urged him to roll onto his side. There was some awkward shuffling, which gave him enough time to open his eyes, lick his dry lips, and realize that Teyla and Ronon were staring at him. Then Rodney was licking again, driving him crazy, but now there was a hand on his dick. Two hands, gaining finesse as they gained speed. John looked down.
Teyla and Ronon were jacking him, two dark hands gripping him just right. Then he was coming, shooting all over himself in powerful spasms. His ass clenched around Rodney's tongue, adding to the sensation. He thought it would go on forever, but finally it slowed enough that he could breathe again, think again. Rodney pulled back, biting his butt-cheek before he moved away.
"You made a mess, Sheppard."
He was getting his brain together to protest that when Ronon switched places with Teyla, bent down, and started cleaning the come off of John's stomach like a big, hairless cat.
"Okay, that works," John panted. He was kind of surprised Rodney didn't have a comment, but then he heard the sound of a condom wrapper ripping open. Ronon grunted against John's stomach. He grinned at John, then scooted backwards on his knees.
Rodney was on his knees at the edge of the mattress, his hands playing with Ronon's ass. John turned around so he could see better, and Teyla scooted in front of him. He wrapped an arm around her, hissing a little as his still-sensitive cock rubbed up against her hip.
"We could really use some pillows in here," John said as he propped his head up on his hand, trying to get into a good position. Rodney pulled his fingers out, his hard cock bobbing eagerly, already gloved-up and ready to go.
"Perhaps you should requisition some," Teyla said, and John dug a finger into the tickle spot on her ribs. She giggled and grabbed his hand, but they both lost interest in tussling as Rodney pushed into Ronon.
"Fuck," Rodney gasped.
"Do it, McKay," Ronon said, tossing his hair back as he looked over his shoulder. "Fast and hard."
John smirked. Yeah, that wasn't going to happen. He could already see it in the stubborn set of Rodney's mouth, the way he gripped Ronon's hips tightly--yeah, John knew that look really, really well. Rodney pulled back nice and slow. Back in again, just as slow, though he had to be aching to come by now.
John nuzzled into Teyla's neck and started softly kneading a breast as he watched the show. Teyla sighed and scooted closer. Ronon made an annoyed noise and pushed his hips back, and Rodney smacked him on the ass, the sound ringing across the small room. John snorted.
Rodney kept at his slow, even pace until Ronon was panting, his face pressed into the mattress. Then, like he'd heard the shot of a starter pistol, Rodney pulled back fast and thrust in hard. Ronon scrabbled at the mattress, his strong hands making it squeak alarmingly. Rodney didn't let up. His pace picked up until he was pounding into Ronon's ass, their skin slapping together in counterpoint to Ronon's louder and louder grunting.
"Oh god, oh god," Rodney cried out, and then he shoved in hard, his head dropping back, mouth open as he came. John never got tired of seeing that. Ronon dropped forward, taking Rodney with him, and they lay there for a minute before Rodney struggled to his knees to dispose of the condom. Then he flopped onto the mattress without care for anyone else's body parts.
"Tired already, Rodney?" John prodded. Teyla was pulling his hand downwards, and he was pretty sure Ronon hadn't come a second time.
Rodney didn't even bother opening his eyes. "Please. You haven't even done any work, just lollygagged around while the rest of us waited on you hand and foot."
And ass, and cock, but John didn't bother to say it. He had benefitted quite nicely from his team's skill. "Fine, McKay. You just take your little nap, and I'll go about catching up with you."
Rodney grinned, still with his eyes closed, and didn't say anything. John would have prodded him more, but Ronon raised an eyebrow as he rolled onto his side.
"Maybe you could start over here, Sheppard."
John bent down to whisper his strategy into Teyla's ear, thinking that yeah, the Pegasus galaxy generally sucked, but there were some very nice fringe benefits.




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